Trip Report - Green Valley Farm - 4/2/2023 ... Australia's weirdest fun park?

[Gazza]

Green Valley Farm - 4/2/2023 

https://www.parkz.com.au/attraction/green-valley-farm

Green Valley Farm is a place that I’ve wanted to visit for a while now.
It’s located between Inverell, Glen Innes and Armidale on the New England tablelands. 

https://goo.gl/maps/fDb4G82QANByWfXy7

I’ve been up and down the New England highway multiple times, but It’s always been late afternoon etc, or in the cold months when the slide is closed (And who wants to miss out on an old school treasure like that) so the timing never really has lined up.

The place fascinated me because it has a lot of play equipment identical to the things seen at the (in)famous Monash playground in SA (Google, or search forums and there are some threads about it)

Originally I thought that when Monash closed down they had been relocated to Green Valley, but it turns out the plans were actually shared by the original designer, Grant Telfer, and the owners of Green Valley built replicas. 

It’s all great fun, but you can hurt yourself if you are being careless (i managed to bang/cut both shins within 15 mins of arrival) , which led to Monash closing in the 80s, with a more ‘sanitised’ playground opening in the 90s. But Green Valley lives on!

More recently, when the ECC were on their Australian tour several people broke away from the main group and went on a rather wild day trip aiming to get a ride on the park's single rail, human powered shuttle coaster.
(Hilariously, that coaster is on rcdb now https://rcdb.com/20449.htm )

Anyhow, fast forward to a few weeks ago and @Noxegon mentioned was coming to Australia and wanted to go. That was the kick in the backside i needed to finally make more of an effort to go there, and we figured out a plan where I could drive down to Glen Innes on a Friday night, pick him up from Armidale airport, head to the park and then press on to the GC for DW and SW the next day.

Easy drive, a few signs by the road let you know when you are near.

And finally you arrive at the car park. Actually a reasonable number of cars for a park in the middle of nowhere. Judging by online reviews, the place has a bit of a cult following and well regarded by generations.

You enter through a museum in a mud brick building. I’ll spare you the photos of the siamese calf taxidermy though!  Reminded me of the ‘historical society’ museums you see in many country towns, with lots of old farm equipment, old signs, guns, gemstones etc. 

 

Towards the end you sign a waiver (I guess its fair, if you want to do all this old school fun stuff without padding, there is an element of risk)  and pay your admission. At $15 its a bargain. Yes the park is pretty old, but to be honest the water slide itself would cost you $15 elsewhere.

And you find yourself in the park, a large grassy field with various elements scattered around. Instantly you are transported back to those old school adventure parks like Greenhills, Puzzle Park, Kinkuna Country, Arakoon, Wyangala etc. 

Didn’t do the mini golf.

Most of the play equipment can only be used by those over 10 given the responsibility involved, and plenty of adults were having a go.
I did my best to document all of them.

A few of the good ones included:

The 3 way seesaw.

The 1 person spring loaded seesaw.

The giant rocking giraffe, which I managed to draw blood on by going a bit too fast.

What I called the “Catapult Swing”, where the entire structure tilts back and forth, as well as the swing itself.

The “satellite” dish.

The rotary cone.

Tire pile that you can literally fall down the middle of, but great for a vantage point.

Monash had way more slides, but one of the designs made it here. You ride on a hessian mat, but still almost stall out on the flat bits.

But of course the main drawcard is the roller coaster.

It’s entirely fenced, so you just jump the fence wherever and have a go when it's your turn. Pushing it up the slope is a bit like pushing the sled across the floor at gym on leg day.

Eventually you reach a small platform where the track levels off and you can jump in, and then it's time to push off.

The transitions between slope and level are at sharp angles, so there’s a bit of a jolt at each one. And it’s loud!
Sounded like TOT. There’s one particularly hard bump as you come up the first slope from the low point.

Oddly, they did make the spike at one end a nice curve.

You then roll backwards, and partway up the first slope, and oscillate a couple of times. No brakes so it's up to you to stick an arm or leg out to bring yourself to a proper stop.The great thing is you can brave it backwards too for free, but those jarring transitions cannot be anticipated if you are going in reverse. Overall, not the fastest thing, but good fun just because of janky and out of control it feels.

The park also has a rather nice garden centred around the house and the kiosk.

Various animals and birds on display. They used to have monkeys but a sign mentioned that they got rid of them due to the “huge regulations” now governing their care. Macaws now  live in their old run.

The merry go round constitutes the sole mechanical ‘ride’.

The kiosk, again you are transported back to a 90s milk bar, with the smell of dripping permeating the air and an array of lolly jars with the whole “3 for 10c” type deal going.

Food is well priced and handmade.

There’s a nice display with some photos of the park being built.

The last thing I did was the water slide. Is it just me, or are long body slides like this not a thing anymore. It seemed every decent country town would have a mammoth like this. Nowadays new slides all feel like they are over in 10 seconds.

You’re given a spiel by the lady at the slide kiosk with the rules and then essentially left to your own devices. 

The stairs are literally just treads made of steel pipe, similar to the giant slide.

Mats are on offer if you want to get a bit of extra speed. First ride without one was a bit of a crawl.

With the mat they suggest trying it wrapped around you like a burrito. Well, that turns the thing into hyperdrive, with so much speed that the water piles up in front of you, forming wave. Wowee!

The bit for the toddlers seemed fairly new, and more to the standard as you’d see in a caravan park these days. Same goes for the kids playground and jumping pillow. Obviously the stuff for younger kids is a bit ‘safer’

I think we stuck around for 2 or 3 hours, did 3 goes on the coaster and had a go at most of the equipment.

 

Overall, it's worth a stop if you are in the area and feel like stepping back in time, and hey, its only $15 (And the patch was $1)

[TBoy]

What a strange park! Doesn't seem like a traditional one but a different one with a strange, different type of rides.

[DaptoFunlandGuy]

29 minutes ago, Gazza said:

(And the patch was $1)

Judging by the phone number, they've had those patches a while.... LOL

[Naazon]

40 minutes ago, Gazza said:

The last thing I did was the water slide. Is it just me, or are long body slides like this not a thing anymore. It seemed every decent country town would have a mammoth like this. Nowadays new slides all feel like they are over in 10 seconds.

I'm assuming because at our parks they aren'y allowed to let the next person down until the original person has exited so a long slide is terrible for thruput.

[New display name]

Thanks for sharing@Gazza   Quirky places are great to visit.  

[REGIE]

I didn’t even know this place existed until I drove to Tamworth a year ago and saw the sign I was like “what? Out here?” I assumed it must not be operating anymore so I googled it and sure enough there’s a freaking single rain coaster!! And a few decent looking slides / rides? An epic little park and very fun to visit! They are getting A new pool this year I believe